Archives for May 2006

Yet another case of he said, he said. Really makes you wonder who’s saying what. Megan has been telling me for weeks that when her father came into town for her graduation he was going to order her car for her. (I’ll discuss my feelings on this later). This information was according to her uncle (I see a pattern happening here). So when Megan finally talks to her father about it he says he never said that (another pattern perhaps?). So now Megan is mad at her father and her uncle.

So lets break this down – Megan is EXPECTING her father to buy her a car. Okay – she may have a point since he did it for her two other sisters. Of course, I have problems with the whole thing for many reasons – one being it leads all of them to expect him to do this kind of stuff all the time. And when he doesn’t they get mad. But a bigger issue I have with this is it teaches them ZERO responsibility, ZERO appreciation, ZERO work ethic. And it definately doesn’t improve the lines of communication between Megan and her father if she’s always calling him about something money related. I don’t know how many times I have told her – she needs to call just to call.

I should have made a bet – with whom I don’t know – but my money is on my other two daughters giving me the silent treatment at Megan’s graduation. But much to Megan’s relief – she just talked to daughter #2 – and was told they (daughter #2, daughter #1 and the ex.) are not going to speak to me while I’m there. Megan wanted to know if I can handle that – I wonder if any of them even thought about how my sister is going to handle it? They are all too busy worrying about themselves to think about how their actions might effect others.

Part of me wanted my sister to see how they would behave towards me. A tiny part of me thought they might try to be nice to me in a twisted way to make it look like I was the one with the attitude but I knew better than that.

But like I said – Megan’s relieved that a verbal altercation won’t happen. Sadly, her sisters will still be causing a “scene” with their behavior.

It goes without much ado that I wasn’t kept abreast on the whereabouts of the girls. The ex went so far as to change his phone number (when he had a phone) and the number wasn’t passed on to me. I was within minutes of calling the police to have them check on daughter #2 and Megan because daughter #2 spent the evening paging me every 15 minutes with the old phone number. In hindsight I should have because they were left home alone. Granted daughter #2 was 15 and Megan was 10.

Medical Care:
Husband shall maintain medical and hospitalization insurance for the benefit of each minor child – All medical and hospitalization deductible and other medical and hospitalization expenses of the children which are not covered by insurance shall be paid for by Husband.

– I still have a BOX full of medical bills for Megan that I got stuck with. Thank goodness for Alabama’s AllKids health care and school free lunches. Funny, one of those disparaging remarks that shouldn’t have been made was about how I should have been more financially responsible and I wouldn’t have had to file for bankruptcy.

So should Part 3 cover who was responsible for what debt? Perhaps I could cover just the ones that the collection agencies called me on because the ex didn’t have a phone. I could break it down to every account the ex had agreed to pay and defaulted on. I had to carry the pages with me when we bought the house – thank goodness the mortgage company held some value in the documents my ex signed.

On March 31, 1997 I signed a document stating “Neither party shall make disparaging statements about the other to the children, or anyone else, that would tend in any way to interfere with or harm the relationship that each party hereto has with the children. Both parties shall at all times foster the relationship of the other with the children.”

Now that all the children are adults, I’m not bound by this “contract”. I sure wish I could go back and sue for breech of contract – as we all know that my ex broke both of these items. I bent over backwards to make sure Megan called her father and stayed in touch with him every time she stayed with me. He obviously did nothing to “foster the relationship of the other with the children.” I’m sure he figured they could make their own minds up – well I still encourage Megan with her relationship with her father and she’s going to be 19 this year.

Stay tuned – next up Part Two: Whereabouts, Well-being and Medical Care