Archive for July, 2007

When Cars Attack

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

What a great way to start the day. After spending over 2 hours yesterday at a Doc-In-A-Box with a doctor whose English was so heavily accented by her foreign dialect that I was fortunate enough to at least have lab results and prescriptions to tell me what was going on. After saying “Excuse me?” three times, I knew I wasn’t at the best of places but I had to get medication for the UTI.

I had to retrieve the big bag of cat litter from the back of the mom-mobile this morning. The rear door has weak hydraulic lifts on the liftgate, but they had been behaving them self for some time now so I didn’t think about them. I reached in, grabbed the bag and set it down on the floor. As I stood up, the door came down on my head. I grabbed my head and felt something wet and sticky. My right hand was covered in blood. I grabbed my head with my other hand and the same thing happened. I told myself, I just needed to get upstairs. I got some paper towels and put them on my head. Then I went to freezer and found one of the blue ice bags. I wanted to go lay down but I knew I needed to feed the cats or they would not leave me alone. Got them fed and went back to lay in bed for a few minutes. The alarm went of and Jeff asked me why I was in bed. I told him the car hit me, he was half asleep and didn’t quite understand what I said. Once he was more awake he asked if I needed him to look at my head. I figured he should even though I thought it was going to be okay. I figured since I didn’t pass out and the bleeding had stopped I was just going to have one heck of a headache. He tells me the reason the it seemed like the bleeding had stopped was because all the blood had matted in my hair. It hurt just to have him move my hair, I was afraid of what it was going to be like trying to take a shower. I opted to take my shower early so in case something did happen, he could hear me. I could smell the blood as I was trying to wet my hair and rinse it out. All I could think was thank goodness there were no sharks in the tub. Even in pain, I have a weird sense of humor.

Yes, my head is sore but I’m glad I didn’t have to go back to the Doc-In-A-Box or even worse, the Emergency Room. I think I would have opted for an at home remedy – super glue.

A Better Day

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

Saturday was a better day. I was up at 5AM feeding the cats. Then I started working on a web project that I had been neglecting. While doing that I decided to make Banana Nut Bread only to discover I couldn’t find my loaf pan anywhere. So I ran to the store and bought another one. While it was baking, I finished up the layout for the Vet clinic www.oakviewvetclinic.com – it still needs tons of content and images (staff member images are broken because I don’t have any). I kept busy all day. We did pizza and a movie. Pizza from our favorite pizza place – Tortuga’s and Charlotte Web from Netflix. Cute movie, they did a good job with it.

Friday, I went back to work and had a rough time with it. Between having to deal with the politicos and my own grief, it made for a rough day. Jeff told me to go home more than once, but I knew I just needed to make it through the day.

Haven’t heard back from my daughter’s friend. I hope that her providing me information enough to put the pieces together, didn’t strain her relationship with my daughter. Kasydi’s obituary told me all that was needed to say:

Infant Kasydi Alana Ann Spencer

Infant Kasydi Alana Ann Spencer passed away July 5, 2007 at Southern Regional Medical Center. Kasydi was born July 5, 2007 the infant daughter of Vanessa and Rodney Spencer of McDonough.

She is also survived by sisters, Jordan Folds and Madelyn Spencer of McDonough; grandparents, Christopher Allbert of Nashville and Lofton and Glenda Spencer Sr. of Griffin, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. Kasydi was also preceded in death by a sister Jessica Ann Folds.

In her world, I do not exist. I tried to be there for her when Jessica died. I found out a little late on that one, but I did call and leave a message. I don’t know if she ever got it. That was then. I tried to be there for her this time too – I still am, I’m right here and I’ve been here all along.

Instead

Friday, July 13th, 2007

Instead of reading my blog, head over and read Megan’s Blog. Then after you do, perhaps the following comments might make sense.

One of the birthday present suggestions we made for Megan for her birthday this year, was to send her to a motorcycle training course. She only had one opportunity to try and ride her motorcycle. The thing was a little too big for her at the time and she was afraid of it.

When she got the motorcycle she was so excited. She thought it would be something she and her father could do together. I think after the first attempts at trying to ride (drive) an 1100cc motorcycle scaring her to death, she never really pushed the issue. I supposed it didn’t help that I wasn’t real happy with the whole thing. All Megan wanted was to be able to do things with her father. She used to talk about riding bicycles and roller blading with him.

All she really wanted was to be able to do things with him, for him to spend time with her. That’s all. Life’s too short, somebody had better wake up before it’s gone.

Rainy Day In Georgia

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

We headed to grave site late enough make sure we didn’t arrive with any chance of anyone else being there. I waited at the ready, hoping I would get a call, it never came, I knew I wasn’t wanted there. I didn’t want Megan knowing I was going – she was terrified of some sort of scene breaking out and her being blamed for it. When I had originally mentioned that I wanted to go to the service, she called me back a few minutes later crying, she didn’t want me to go, she was afraid she would get blamed for me being there…I told her that if I wasn’t asked to be there, I would go later on. I had even mentioned waiting until Thursday to go. I wound up telling her I wasn’t going to go so she wouldn’t worry herself sick over it.

In a round about way, I think the rain helped us. It had started raining heavily near downtown Atlanta. Traffic was bumper to bumper all the way past that point. What should have been a 30 minute drive from where we were at took over an hour. I think it was about 1:45 local time when we got there. The wind was really picking up and the ground was already muddy and wet.

All the beautiful pink flowers. I left Kasydi a pink Guardian Angel medallion with a note I had written on the back.

Kasydi,
You are loved and your Mommy is too.
Love, Grandma Leslie

I set it right next to a precious little white cherub. I let her know I loved her and that I would be back again. The lightning was starting to get close so we headed back to the truck.

We were going to grab a bite to eat at the Sonic on the way out, but I needed a potty break, so we swung around to the Backyard Burgers at the Sunoco.

The ride back was better than the ride there – more peaceful. I’m still waiting for a call.

Tears

Friday, July 6th, 2007

I have two things I want to blog – both have me very depressed. One is beyond sad, I may not even get to the other subject.

My oldest daughter was expecting, she was scheduled to be induced July 5 (my mom’s birthday). Her checkup on July 3rd went well, but something happened between the checkup and when she came in to be induced. When they hooked her up to the monitors no fetal heartbeat could be found. The baby was stillborn. I hurt so bad, I just want to drive to Georgia, hold my daughter and cry with her.

She thinks I’m never there for her, but I’ve been right here all along.