Originally written 11/22/2004 when Vanessa and her husband met me at the Georgia Welcome Center to pick Megan up for the holidays. It was included in a card that was mailed to her.
Thank you for coming to pick Megan up. I was disappointed (but not surprised) when you gave me the cold shoulder. At this point in time I cannot figure out why you haven’t at least told me what you are mad about. Was it because I didn’t come to your first wedding to Jason? Did you ever bother to call me and ask why? Did you not remember my comment to you about your father’s attitude towards me when you came to pick up Megan? That was just one factor – not wanting some huge ugly fight to break out during your special day weighed heavily on my heart. Then right after Megan left, I lost a contract I had with client that was our main source of income at the time. I had no money to pay for the hotel, a dress or even gas to drive to Gatlinburg. Then when you lost baby Jessica I found out about that through Opa – I called you and left you a message. No return phone call spoke volumes – you didn’t want to talk to me any more. I’ve ruled out the possibility that Jason could have erased the message and that he may have been preventing you from contacting me because One: you are too strong willed to let anyone stop you from doing anything and Two: you would have tried contacting me after your divorce.
You now should have a lot better understanding of what happens to someone’s life after divorce. In my case, I had to file bankruptcy after your father stopped paying on accounts he agreed to pay in the divorce settlement. It was the only way I could stop his bill collectors from calling me. I learned the hard way that it doesn’t matter what the divorce decree says when it comes to financial arrangements. Bankruptcy will continue to follow me for years.
There were other items in the divorce settlement that your father has ignored too. He was supposed to provide Megan with health insurance. For quite awhile he did not – bottom line he didn’t honor ANY of the divorce agreement including keeping me informed on the whereabouts and well being of you, Tiffany & Megan. Financially I could not afford to take him back to court and force him to. I continue to pay medical & dental bills for Megan that he should be covering.
I am sure you will have your divorce settlement and stepchildren issues to deal as time goes by. It’s hard enough when a child plays against a mother and father but when there are stepparents involved things like “you are not my mother” or “you are not my father” become manipulative tools the child learns to use rather well.
Food for thought – if things were really as bad as Megan says there were why does she keep coming back? There are always two sides to every story and the story will always be slanted to the listener’s side. Just as Megan will not tell you what’s on her mind for fear of upsetting you. Perhaps you should ask her how she felt about her birthday this year – she will probably tell you something different than what she told me.
But the bottom line here is that I love you no matter what. If you chose not to talk to me that will be your choice. I have made more than one attempt to reach out to you – including sending you a check, which was cashed. I wish you, Rodney and your new family all the best. You will be forever in my heart.